I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
