you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
