spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
