Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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