I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
