ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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