I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
