my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We need to rekindle our bromance
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
