FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
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he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
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I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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