i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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