One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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