Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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