why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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