i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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