The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
