if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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