Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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