It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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