i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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