Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
