Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
