I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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