She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
