This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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