You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
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Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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