that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
