So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
