I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just google imaged poop.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
