How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
