dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
