Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
