You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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