Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
