cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
