As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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