I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize