I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
