Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
