so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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