Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
