You made me cry and you don't even care
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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