quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
