Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize