im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
