i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
