You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
