it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
