i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How's work?
Spinning.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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