i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
