im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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