Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
