we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
