the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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