Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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