we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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