Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize