What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
