apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
