we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
