People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
